My friend CBC, creator of the phiction genre, recently received a priceless email from Sophiaa Queen, an heiress in distress. The invitation to create some music together was too good to pass by, and their relationship blossomed in the ether. Particularly poignant and almost eerie is that this rockfordian intercourse took place only days before the untimely death of acclaimed actor James Garner. As usual, the phisher's emails are odd-numbered, CBC's emails even. This one is a slow cooker, but packs more heartbreak than the last novel you read. If you stop reading before 'Taco, Bag of Fries,' you're missing out:
1. Hello,
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2014 6:55 AM
To: CBC
Hi dear, I'm Sophia by name! I saw your email today and i decided to write to you for us to know each other. It's kind of cool
& interesting to write to you for us to be friends. I we be very happy to know more about you. If you wish to know more about me, reply me . For us to know each other very well as friends. I am waiting keep cool.......
Best Regards Sophia.
2. RE: Hello,
From: CBC
Sent: Saturday, June 21, 2014 11:54 AM
To:sophiaa queen
Dear Sophia,
I am very lonely. My wife left me two months ago, and she took our dog Nestor with her. I also hurt my back and now I'm convalescing at home watching old episodes of The Rockford Files.
Have you ever watched The Rockford Files? It's a TV series starring James Garner. It starts out with a message on an answering machine, something about Jim Rockford forgetting to pick up his fish from the market or something of that nature. Anyway, Jim Rockford is an ex-con who is a private detective in Los Angeles. He wears tweedy sportcoats, lives in a trailer on the beach with his crusty father. I love this show. I watch two episodes every day, streaming on netflix. It's the only thing --other than hydrocodone-- that numbs my pain over Sarah leaving me, and Nestor's absence. (Nestor is a labradoodle.)
CC
3. Hello Dear, This Is All About Me!
From: sophia hareef
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 2:29 AM
To: CBC
Hello Dear, I need your help, please!
Dearest,
I'm happy for your mail, and I have vital reason for contacting you regarding my condition here. I am Miss Sophia Hareef, 22 years old lady from Republic of Rwanda.
I'm the only daughter of late Dr. Fabius Hareef. My late Dad, Dr. Fabius Hareef was for many years, the Rwandan Government's chief Economist. He later resigned His public appointment and then created His Own Real Estate construction & management firm (ZHUBARI GROUP CO. LTD), Headquartered in Kigali, Capital city of Rwanda.
My late Dad was also The personal Economic adviser to our current President. Soon after the cold blooded assassination of my beloved parents, my step-mom began threatening me, and even plotted to assassinate me; Because She wanted to assume absolute control over all of my late father's Estates, Investments, and other high value properties; hence their sudden assassination.
Meanwhile, I had wanted to immigrate to Europe to studies, but my step mom set my belonging ablaze right under my watch, and burned my international passport and other valuable traveling documents. Luckily for me, my Late Father's personal Files were kept hidden away from our family house, and this is why they weren't also set ablaze by my step mom.
After these, I finally decided to escape into neighboring African nations, and at last I arrived this refugee camp.
Here in Dakar, Republic of Senegal I'm now an asylum seeker & political refugee, under United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR).
My Dearest, I contacted you for a long-term business relationship and investment assistance in your country. My late Dad deposited about $5,700,000 (five million and seven hundred thousand dollars) in Standard Bank Plc, UK, and I am the next of kin. However, I can write much about the funds and will also give you vital details of the bank deposit on confirmation of your willingness to assist my claims of the money, and my demand for release, for transfer & investment of the funds in your country.
Besides claims & investment of the money, I'll also like to seek University admission upon arrival to your country, because I was still studying when forced to flee my family home in Kigali.
If we get on successfully well, I shall compensate you with 30% of the money for your assistance, while you keep the balance safe pending my investment capital.
Please, let all communications between us remain confidential; Call me with this phone number (+221772064077). Its not my own phone, I've no phone for now. But the Rev. Father of this Catholic Parish permitted me to use His office phone for daily calls with you, until we complete claims & transfer of the cash.
Once I receive your positive reply to be My Transfer Partner, I will put things to action immediately. I shall appreciate your urgent reply showing willingness/readiness to handle this transaction sincerely and honestly. I am in this Refugees camp's female hostel, and I'm waiting your positive response.
You must keep this secret & to yourself; You must not disclose it to any person whosoever, until the cash is successfully claimed & transferred to your account for me, and I safely arrive your home country. I hope my explanations are very clear, but, if you need further clarification, then send me your questions. I attached my photos so that you know me full well.. Thanks; and reply immediately.
Yours Sophia.
4. RE: Hello Dear, This Is All About Me!
From: CBC
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 9:05 A.M.
To:sophiaa queen
Dear, dear Sophia,
I am writing you from my gmail account because I'm afraid of being monitored by my bosses. I can get in trouble for using my work email for personal purposes. Sometimes I feel like there's someone watching me at work, specifically a janitor whose blue smock seems too new and unused to be authentic.
I am horrified by the story you tell about the assassination of your parents and the loss of all of your property. I want to help you in some way.
As you already know, I am a fan of The Rockford Files. Jim Rockford is an honorable man, a man who dedicates his life to helping others.
Some people judge me improperly because I am so interested in this old television program. They say I pay too much attention to something that is not real, but I really disagree. It's important to believe in something, in an ideal, and ultimately we all live our lives based on ideals. I understand it's kind of stupid to get your ideals from a fictional character but in the end it's better to have good ideals than have none at all, and how you get them doesn't matter necessarily.
Anyway, I'm sorry to talk so much about this, all I wanted to say is that because I love Jim Rockford, I am willing to try to help you. This is what he would do.
What do you need? Do you need money to get out of the camp? Unfortunately, I only have $6,248.00 in my savings account, although next month I will have another $ 1,000.00. Because I am in the middle of a divorce, this is all the money I can spare at this time. My only concern is that I need a better assurance from you that you will indeed give me 30% of $5,700,000 like you say if I provide you with help. You say that it is based on us getting on reasonably well. I don't mean to be suspicious, but that is a very general statement, and the professional, business-like thing would be for us to draw up a contract over email that specifies what I will do and what you will do in return. When talking about so much money, I assume you would agree it's important to do things legally and correctly. This is as much for your protection as it is for mine.
I eagerly await your reply. I would like to make a difference in your life, you seem like a good person who has had some terrible experiences. Right now, I'm having a very hard time with my back pain, my divorce and with my beloved dog Nestor being gone. He used to sit between my legs when I stretched out on the couch to watch The Rockford Files.
Now I watch the program alone, it's hard, but your email has intrigued me. It is an opportunity for me to do something new in my life, something positive. My dream is to get a trailer, put it on a beach somewhere, and get my father to move in with me.
best
CBC
5. RE: RE: Hello Dear, This Is All About Me!
From:sophia hareef
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2014 6:40 AM
To: CBC
Sweetly, It was distressing to learn about your recent divorce issues, the loss of your pet Dog, and your ailment with back pains and your battles for treatment of the ailment. All I pray for in this moment of time is your complete recovery and for your emotional comfort. With hope that you will soon regain your health, strength and usual spirit to enable you help me.
You will Inquire from the bank; If they accept our request, then we'll proceed.. Please kindly call me to this tel phone number 00221772064077; even though I've no personal phone. I'd so much appreciate you, if you'd kindly call me now or at any other time, depending to your personal schedule.
We're suffering here and hoping to meet you soon after this transfer to your account. May God reward and bless you for all you are about to do to help me out of this deplorable condition, as a result of the incarceration of father in jail and his killing. I deeply appreciate your willingness to help me transfer the money; Like I wrote in my previous letter, I have already informed the Management of Standard Bank Plc my plans to claim and transfer this money. After series of consultations with the Bank's management, and with Reverend Father Henry Yadema, I was finally advised to apply for claims, release, and transfer of this fund through a trusted/trustworthy foreign Partner.
Write a Cash Claims, Release, & Transfer request to Standard Bank UK; state that you're my foreign partner, and is acting on my behalf. Remember to include your full names, and all other personal information. Here are the Account Details of my late Father, and the contact of Standard Bank;
Name of Bank: STANDARD BANK PLC, U.K.
Email: standardbankplcsa@financier.com; standardcharteredbankgroup@financier.com
Original Account Owner: late Dr. Fabius Hareef
Next of Kin: Sophia Hareef (daughter of Fabius Hareef)
Account number: ST74510893346/QB/91/CB.
Swift Number: 0234AC44.
Amount Deposited: USD$5.700.000.00
Person to Contact: Mr. JASPAL BINDRA
Contact them now on how to release and transfer this US$5.700.000.00 million dollars deposited by my late father, to I am next of kin. I'm planning immigration to your country immediately after successful release of the funds to your account for me; and pending onward transfer to your account. When you contact the Bank, Send me feedback from them.
6. RE: RE: RE:Hello Dear, This Is All About Me!
From: CBC
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2014 5:37 P.M.
To:sophiaa queen
Sophia,
Regrettably, I cannot call you on the phone. My cell phone is under my wife's name, and she can see all the calls I make. More importantly, my AT & T calling plan does not allow me to make international calls. I do not know how I would go about calling you, and don't forget my mobility is limited because of my back problems. But thank you for talking to Standard Bank Plc about our plans. I intend to email them later today or tomorrow morning to make an inquiry on our behalf. I'm very excited about doing this, and beginning this process.
I never imagined that my dream of living on a Los Angeles beach in a trailer might be within reach. If I can accomplish this dream through our transaction, I think I can rebuild my life, start anew. I'm no fool: I understand I can't be Jim Rockford, but if I can approximate my lifestyle to his, it will make me happy. I even plan on buying some sportcoats and an old telephone answering machine so that fishmongers can live me phone messages about my orders for Rockfish and salmon. And then, just sitting in that small trailerish box as the sun goes down over the waves, drinking a mint julep, watching a black and white TV, writing in a composition book journal with a bic pen, and just being glad to be alive.
I want you to know that I think your plan for going back to school is excellent. I recommend the University of California at Los Angeles, that way we can see each other from time to time. You could live on campus in their international house and from time to time we could meet in Westwood, at one of those café's on the main drag there. It's a great place for seeing celebrities.
Once I saw Lou Ferrigno standing in a doorway (he was not so big, I remember thinking), and my best sighting was Barry Manilow. Do you know who Barry Manilow is? He's a brilliant singer and songwriter. You'll so enjoy spending time in Westwood! Rest assured I will not inconvenience you too much once you start your classes at UCLA. You are a very pretty girl, I can see that from your photos, but I can't think about you in a romantic way. I'm older than you, I am a man of honor, you would be like a treasured niece to me.
That is what Jim Rockford would want me to do, and that is what I want to do. It is decided. Please don't insist with me, no matter how much gratitude you feel for me after all of this over and done with.
I must go now. My back is hurting me more than usual. I am going to take some hydrocodone-acetaminophen right now and try to sleep, but I will write to the bank tomorrow or later when I wake up. Please be patient with this broken down man. Sweet dreams to you my cherished girl, please be patient as you sit by that hostel window, don't lose hope. Jim Rockford is on the case.
CC
7. Your love gives me courage to do anything big in life
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2014 6:17 P.M.
To: CBC
Sweetly, Your love gives me courage to do anything big in life. please contact to Standard Chartered Bank for inquiry today!
I just cannot wait to get married to a good and loving man like you. I am very excited to know that you care for me; But all I like is of our marriage, but even these coming days are like months for me. You should contact to Standard chartered today, so that we'll commence the transfer immediately!
I'm waiting for this day to come. I remember the first time I emailed you and your good reply; I got a feeling that you are the one for me; But I also want to ask you, Do You Love And Cherish Me???.
I am really happy and excited to be your best friend and I am hoping that we'll get on well. You are the reason behind my happiness. You bring happiness and joy in my life. I will never separate from you and will live with you whole life. I am ready to face happy and tough times together with you. Your love gives me courage to do anything big in life.
Darling, you are the best thing ever happened in my life.
7b. Please accept my deep appreciation for your cordiality
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Wednesday, June 25, 2014 7:40 A.M.
To:CBC
Please, accept my deep appreciation for your cordiality, trust and wholehearted support. With your support, we'll do the Transfer hence you're interested to help me; Complete this request and send to Standard Chartered for consideration. When you contact and receive their response, send me feedback!
STANDARD BANK PLC, U.K.
Email: standardbankplcsa@financier.com; standardcharteredbankgroup@financier.com
Account Owner: Dr. Fabius Hareef
Next of Kin: Sophia Hareef (daughter of Fabius Hareef)
Account number: ST74510893346/CB/91/B. Swift Number: 0234AC44.
Dear Jaspal Bindra,
I am, -----------, residing at.......... I am resident and citizen of -------------; born on ............; my phone numbers are ..........; and My occupation is ......... My bank account number and name; .........; held in ............. Bank. Sophia Hareef permitted me to claim, demand immediate release and transfer of funds from her late Father's domiciliary account to my local account, to enable her resettlement in my home country. She is living as refugee in Republic of Senegal, I want immediate release and transfer of the funds o my account; And I pledge full cooperation to the best of my ability as her partner.
Yours Sincerely,
8. RE: Your love gives me courage to do anything big in life
From: CBC
Sent: Wednesday, June 25, 2014 9:29 A.M.
To: sophiaa queen
Dear Sophia,
My dear girl, you are such a tender, pretty creature. I'd be lying if I said that your declarations of affection do not affect me. I feel stirrings in me that are unexpected, a firmness comes upon me at the thought of making a life with you, intimately. But you need to understand that the only reason you have feelings for me is because I am being kind to you and I can possibly help you. Your gratitude and expectation have clouded your judgment. A beautiful girl like you would not be satisfied by a middle-aged man like me, prone to melancholy, back strain and television. I accept your praise in the spirit it is given and thank you for your kindness. In my present circumstances, kind words are encouraging and they are gift I thank you for. I shall be your friend, without any fringe benefits other than my trailer on the beach. I shall be your uncle from another family, so to speak, your private Jim Rockford. And I shall give your hand in marriage to whomever you choose, once you are settled here in the United States, but only if you deem me deserving of such an honor.
After writing to the bank in a few moments, I was planning on researching academic programs for you at UCLA. What are you interested in studying? History? Engineering? English literature? Let me know some programs that might interest you and I will at once contact those departments and find out about enrollment requirements for foreign nationals. When I was in college, I was an English major, and I heartily recommend any major related to literature to you. Nothing prepares you better for life and middle age than studying Shakespeare, or reading Flaubert's The Sentimental Education. But I leave it to you to decide. I will support you, and help you, with any course of study you choose. Are you a science minded person? Or are you more inspired by literature and art? Let me know and I will call the college and find out about your prospects.
Again, thank you for the sweet things you said in your last email. They made my eyes a little bit moist and rejuvenated me. Don't you worry. There is a good man in your future, a good younger man, someone strong and vital, who will be your champion. I will help you through this crisis and help you find that man, and if you want, help you marry him. And then I will go back to my trailer and lead my life quietly, as the waves roll outside my windows.
CBC
8b. I am concerned
From: CBC
Sent: Tuesday, June 25, 2014 4:45 P.M.
To: sophiaa queen
Dear Sweetheart,
I am concerned. I wrote an email to Jaspal Bindra as you instructed. I explained to him that my bank accounts are in my wife's name and that the best thing I could do was open a new bank account in my name alone so that I will be able to do our transaction. I do control a personal savings account that has a few thousand dollars in it and I told him that I'd like to get that money to you immediately so that you can be removed from that hostel, get a visa and come and live near me. (I'll get you an apartment.) I told him that I could take cash out of my savings without my wife knowing and send it via Western Union or by way of some emmisary. A few hours later, I received an automated reply and then Mrs. Jane Lewise wrote to me with a form for me to fill out. The form does not acknowledge my situation right now or my questions to Mr. Bindra. How does Mrs. Jane Lewise know about our situation? Why didn't she say anything in her email to me? I find the customer service provided by this bank to be lacking in professionalism and helpfulness. Are you certain you want to work with this bank?
I had another idea this afternoon that I wanted to share with you, because I do not trust Mr. Bindra to reply, now that he has passed on our case to Mrs. Lewise, who is a total stranger to me. My idea is that in order to get you out of that refugee camp and to the U.S. as soon as possible, I could send you cash in the mail. I could hide it in a Rockford Files Season 1 DVD case. If I send it urgent mail to Senegal it will only cost me about $88 and you will get it by next Tuesday or Wednesday. Then you can take the money (a few thousand) and get a visa and a ticket to come here. (And it excites me to know that you could start watching the Rockford Files in Senegal, and get to know me better, and in some way, grow closer to me and this dream of mine to own a trailer on the beach. If all goes according to plan, we might find ourselves in that trailer, sitting at a cozy table in its kitchenette, holding warm mugs of coffee in our palms as we talk quietly about your university courses at UCLA.)
I also want you to know that I've called my friend Steve Jesterman to ask him to take me to the bank tomorrow to open up a new bank account in my name alone. Don't worry: he doesn't know about you yet. You asked me not to say anything. But eventually you will meet him and you will love him. My appointment tomorrow is for 11:30 AM central time, which in Dakar, Senegal will be 4:30 PM. I expect that the account will be created by 5:30 PM Senegal time. Then I will have the capability to send my account information to a bank. But we need to talk about this: Are you sure Standard Bank will be a good partner for us? Have you considered HSBC Wales? I've heard good things about it.
I hope you're not upset with me because of my last email. I hope you don't feel rejected by me. Of course I cherish you, that is why I am helping you. I hope you will love me a little, but not as a husband or a lover. We are friends, or my hope is that I can be like family to you. My relationship with you promises to give me a new life.
In terms of our situation, for tomorrow, should I send the form to Standard bank or should I make an inquiry with HSBC Wales in the UK? I assume they provide the same services at Standard Bank and maybe they will be more responsive.
Also, where can I send you some cash so that I can get you out of that refugee camp? Besides buying a plane ticket, you are welcome to buy any nice things you like, like shoes and handbags. You are a pretty young woman, and you deserve to feel beautiful and confident after all of the trauma you've been through. If I can help with that, it will make me feel happy.
CBC
PS please let me know about your academic interests so that I can contact the University of California Los Angeles about potential courses of study and admission requirements. I've decided that I will pay for your courses in the first year. I know you will have a great deal of money, but I think I can afford this and I insist.
9. My Sweetheart, I have read your mail
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 5:21 P.M.
To: CBC
My Sweetheart, I have read your mail, and I am very very happy for what you've written. Hence you will finance my immigration to USA; I am ready to come any moment, and you will send the money to me tomorrow morning through Western Union to Rev. Henry Yadema. I do not know how much my immigration to USA will cost in money until I make inquiry tomorrow morning. But we'll also do the transfer on arrival and resettlement in USA. In short, I will try to ask Rev. Yadema about the visa and travel requirement now, Then In the morning, I shall go to make inquiry concerning Travel requirements for my immigration to USA, then I will write back to let you know whatever my findings may be. I know its all about money, with money, I will be able to obtain a visa to USA within few days because everything here in Senegal is about money and about knowing prominent personalities.
10. I am concerned
From: CBC
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 5:49 P.M.
To: sophiaa queen
Dearest Sophia,
Excellent. I understand about corruption in Senegal. What's important is to get you away from there, and over here, where things are not that way. As soon as I hear from you I will call Steve Jesterman and make plans for him to drive me to Western Union. I will let you know what time he can drive me and that way you will know at what time to expect the money. All I ask is that you be sure to bring the Rev. Yadema with you because the idea of you waiting alone at the Western Union office in Dakkar to pick up the money really scares me. I don't want anything to happen to you.
10b. One request?
From: CBC
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 5:58 P.M.
To: sophiaa queen
Sophia,
I'm getting ready for bed now. It's just me alone here in the empty house. I am going to read our emails over again while I lay in bed and plan for the future. I feel like I've shared a lot about me, but there's still so much I don't know about you! Would you find it impertinent of me, or too forward if I asked you to tell me more about who you are? I would imagine that you find it hard to share details about who you are, and what your feelings are with strangers like me, no matter how kind I might seem to be. I wouldn't blame you if that were the case. Our life stories are so different. I come from a comfortable life of privilege and you are a refugee who has lost nearly everything. You have been touched by violence and I have not. You are African and I am American. May I ask you what is your favorite color? (I'd like to get you a present, that's the truth). Here's another question: do you like to wear trainers, like adidas or puma, or do you only wear sandals? Are you a Christian, and if so, what denomination? Anything you tell me, however silly, or small, will be a comfort, because I am not working now and what I do is wait for your emails, and I reread them constantly. Especially the one where you said you found me to be a kind and good person--that was so touching, I thank you again for your trust. Anyway, to know a little bit more about you would make me so happy and help me get through my days and nights. You have taken over my life over the past two days. Helping you is the only thing I think about.
CBC
11. My Love,, this is my bio data, and our camp address;reply me soon
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Friday, June 27, 2014 6:23 A.M.
To: CBC
My Love,, this is my bio data, and our camp address;
N'Dioum UNHCR Refugees' Encampment,
HLM Grande Yoff-GY, Unite 18, Villa No. 245.
En face Pharmacie Touba Sandaga; Dakar, Republic of Senegal
My name is Sophia Hareef
My age is 22 years old (Born in July 16, 1992).
My home country is The Republic of Rwanda
I'm a Refugee/political asylum seeker here, under the protection of CWS/UNHCR.
My Home town is Butare Province.
Birth place is in Butare, Republic of Rwanda
I am interested in Studying Business Management or Political science!
I love gorgeous dresses, especially Red, Blue, Pink, Orange, and Black colors; My best choice of dresses is Casual Jeans, Mini Skirts, colorful shoes, and many more... I like watching movies, listening to hip hop music; I'm an ardent fan of music. I'm cool, nice, gentle, liberal minded; But I'm also silly at times, I make mistakes too. Play a lot of scrabble, watch movies a lot especially action, sci- fi and comedy thriller. I'm a very focused and highly motivated individual. My friends like me because I'm straight up and candid in all views and discussion that comes up. They also like my honesty and my Devotion to Church activities (I was Born and Baptized a Roman Catholic Christian, and that's my Congregation to date). In short, I'm a sincere, honest, deeply caring and deeply religious person; So all I want is A LIFE LONG SOUL MATE, Dedicated Lover, Best Friend, You will be there for me and I will also be there for.
As for the Transfer, Rev. Yadema advised me that it will be better for us to claim the funds whenever I arrive USA and Meet you live so that we'll be in the position to combine or coordinate our efforts in this regard.
My Dearest, All I need is money for acquisition a new international passport and few other vital Travel permits like Consular card, Police Attestation Report, official Age Declaration, Carte Judicial, and Fitness and Vaccination Certificate; With all these papers, I will become automatically eligible for a USA Immigrant visa or Tourist visa application. The Travel and Tour agency (Best Class Travels & Tour Sa) we consulted this morning advised us that it will be too costly for me to apply for a student visa; They advised me that Tourist visa can be obtained within 7days from the date we pay them. Cost of the Immigrant or Tourist visa is €2,700 euro; Then the remaining €1,000 euro is the exact cost estimate for acquisition of all the vital travel papers, including a New International Paspport (which can be issued within 2days if I pay for express service). When the estimated costs are combined, my travel papers and An Immigrant or Tourist via will cost €3,700 euro. But when you will be sending the money, I like you to kindly add small extra money to the €3,700 euro for me, just for Transportation during the processes and for food. Thanks in advance for it.
Send it through Western Union money transfer, to REVEREND HENRY YADEMA, see His name and details below;
Name of receiver: HENRY YADEMA
Address of receiver: HLM Grande Yoff-GY, Unite 18,
City and Country: Dakar, Republic of Senegal
This is also His mobile number: 00221772064077
Reply me soon.
12. RE: My Love,, this is my bio data, and our camp address;reply me soon
From: CBC
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 11:25 A.M.
To: sophiaa queen
Dear Sophia,
OK, I can send 4,000.00 euros, I hope that will be enough. Please let me know. That leaves me with a few hundred dollars in my savings account to make preparations here, like opening a new bank account in my name. I just printed out your information so that I can send the transfer properly later. In a few minutes, I will call Steve Jesterman to find out about him driving me to Western Union. After the money is wired I will let you know via email.
I am fascinated by the things you tell me about who you are and what you like. You sound so charming. I shudder at your youth. Many innocent 22 year-old-girls like you are looking for soul mates, but please be careful. Sometimes men only use women. You know that, right? Even nice, educated men can be shifty and unreliable.
This reminds me of an episode of the Rockford Files from season 4 (1978), titled "Taco, Bag of Fries." In this episode, Jim is helping Madge Wainwright find her sister Clarice, who disappeared after a date on the Santa Monica pier with a boy called Toni Fumelli. To make a long story short, Clarice was sweet talked by Toni, who is a gangster, and taken off to Topanga Canyon to live behind the prison like walls of a mansion with Toni's shrewish mother Ricarda. Rockford has to sneak in to get her out, pretending to be a bespectacled Ambassador Gold vacuum cleaner salesman in a white smock. Classic.
My favorite part is when the bastard who kidnapped Clarice confronts Jim with a gun and our hero replies: "while you're pointing that at me, could you throw in a taco and a bag of fries?" That's one of my favorite Rockford quotes. So dry, so sardonic, so Garnerian. Anyway, my point is this: Clarice was also an innocent little thing and she was fooled by a handsome bad man and made to go missing. This is what I mean. You need to be on your guard when looking for love. I propose you set your sights lower and simply try to make friends and not rush into anything, ever, with anyone. Don't think about soul mates. Think about being independent and networking and building real relationships for your future.
I found a vintage trailer for a few thousand dollars that I think I could fix up after we sort out the bank transfer business. It's very Rockfordian, it might do the trick. I'm attaching a photo of it, as well as a photo of Jim Rockford and his cantankerous dad, "Rocky" in the background.
Soon,
CBC
13. My love the 4,000 euro is very very okay
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Friday, June 27, 2014 12:30 P.M.
To: CBC
My love, the €4,000 euro you're going to send is very very okay by me. Thank you! For your advise to me, thank you too, and I'll try to be careful; Already, I'm never flirtatious, just that i usually love and trust very easily.
I would like to reveal that you have stolen my heart; You now mean everything to me. Though you are struggling with ailment and i am also struggling with difficult living conditions and if we join our hands for the entire rest of life then we could overcome all the hurdles of life. I love you so much, and I now want you to promise to sincerely help me and Maybe marry me. I'm ready to do it, and I'll shower my love on you. Honey, in future we will have our kids, we will have our beautiful family and there would be peace, love and security in our hearts.
God has sent you to me as a gift of this love. Yes, you are my dream darling that I was praying for. I feel that your entry in my life is going to be a great turning point toward everything good for me; Because I've always desired to live, study and work in the USA. You're now in the process of helping me realize all my beautiful dreams. It would be one of the milestones I've desired to achieve in life. In the wetness of my love I will make you shower to refreshment, that you will forget all the sorrows of your life.
You're my Sweetheart and My SweetDream!
I love your style!
Once more, please Send the €4,000 euro through Western Union money transfer, to REVEREND HENRY YADEMA, see His name and details below;
Name of receiver: HENRY YADEMA
Address of receiver: HLM Grande Yoff-GY, Unite 18,
City and Country: Dakar, Republic of Senegal
This is also His mobile number: 00221772064077
14. (No Subject)
From: CBC
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 3:36 P.M.
To: sophiaa queen
Sophia,
I'm very confused by your email. I wish you would not say those things. You make me question my opinions and feelings, which are honorable. You know I never looked for your love, for that kind of marriage love, I am just trying to be like Jim Rockford. All I wanted was to have a trailer on the beach, and quiet days, drinking a mint julep and writing in my composition book with a bic pen. I want to be close to the waves of the sea, and live a quiet life, take long walks in sandals on the beach to get tacos on the Santa Monica pier, stop to watch the surfers, pick up a seashell, and put it in my pocket as the sun sets on the horizon. But you make me question all of this with your words, because you are very beautiful, and I am alone. How can I not feel anything when you write such strong words? I don't know what to say. I have so many feelings.
But what is urgent now is the money, to get you out of there immediately, we can talk about feelings later.
I opened up a new back account in my name, so progress is made. I have the cash in my pocket to wire to you but when I went to Western Union with Steve Jesterman, they told me the address did not fit in their system. They asked me if I was referring to one of these locations:
ATPS PETIT NGOR Petit Ngor Dakar, +0022-176-5919795
SILICON VALLEY 6 Diamalaye Ii N 6 Dakar, Senegal 221 +221-338208847
UIMCEC 4 Camp Penal Lot N 1 Dakar, Senegal 221 +221-338676109
BIS LIBERTE 6 Rond Point Liberte 6 Dakar, Dakar 0000000 +221-33-8496262
They had more addresses, but these were the ones that came up on their computer first when I gave them the address you gave me. Is one of these the correct one? If you could please resend the address in the correct format, to look like one of these, maybe that will work. Or can Rev. Yadema go to one of the locations listed above? Steve says he can come back and drive me again to Western Union today. Let me know and I will do it.
I'm feeling very anxious and confused, I don't know why.
15. My address is correct: Grande Yoff, Unite 18, Villa N° 245; Dakar, Republic of Senegal
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 4:53 P.M.
To: CBC
I wasn't referring to any of the locations you listed in your mail.
My address is correct, Send the money to the name of Reverend and address I've written below.
Name of receiver: HENRY YADEMA
City: Dakar
Country: Republic of Senegal
This is also His mobile number: 00221772064077
15b. I still appreciate the name of God for Your good effort in my life
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 5:05 P.M.
To: CBC
Subject:
I still appreciate the name of God for Your good effort in my life and i keep asking God to continue to keep His Hands over us because i know and have the strong Faith that God is Forever and always able to handle our situation no matter the difficulties, but my God will always bless you for me because you are such a nice and kind person to me and my life now depends on you for survival, even though i don't have the power to reward you for all these effort to save my life out of here but i am sure that my God in heaven will reward you. Please, send the money to this info "My address is correct, Send the money to the name of Reverend and address I've written below.
Name of receiver: HENRY YADEMA
City: Dakar
Country: Republic of Senegal
This is also His mobile number: 00221772064077". Thank you in advance and Have a nice day.
I am waiting your reply.
says - Sophia.
16. Re: I still appreciate the name of God for Your good effort in my life
From: CBC
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2014 10:01 P.M.
To: sophiaa queen
Sophia,
It's OK, you're allowed to be frustrated with me. Don't try to hide it with God. I know you're scared and desperate, and who wants to listen to a lonely middle-aged, suburban, middle-class, overweight white man go on and on about his feelings? There is nothing more boring, or more irrelevant, for a woman who is in your situation. If I were you, I would be impatient with me and my inability to quickly send the money you need. I won't bore you with more dramas about me at this time. I want this email to be factual, and to only contain INFORMATION. I don't want to disappoint you again or make you take that tone with me again.
I need to say a few things because you may not hear from me for a long time.
I went to a different Western Union with Steve Jesterman early this evening, and sent the money. The man who worked there was a Russian fellow and it was difficult to communicate with him because he had a lisp and I wasn't sure what he was saying, plus I was distracted by the fact he was wearing a red Lenin pin on his yellow vest. But I gave him Rev. Yadema's information and the cash and the MTCN number is 5613464654 with serial number 6395-408AK. Use those numbers to claim the money. That is 4,000 euros.
I called my wife about the divorce and I think we came to a good solution. She will sell our house, where I'm living now (she's living with her new boyfriend), and we will split the money we make on the sale. She believes we can get anywhere between 200 and 300,000 dollars for the house. We are going to divorce amicably, without lawyers or anything like that. I was talking to Steve Jesterman about it after the phone call and he agreed I should just move to California immediately. So that is what I'm doing. I'm leaving tomorrow. Hopefully in a month or two I will have the money from the sale of the house, and the 30% of the money you offered me, and I will be able to buy a trailer on the beach, in addition to many more things. I need to get a gold Pontiac Firebird Esprit with the license plate 853 OKG, just like Jim Rockford. Right now, my plan is to drive out to California, rent a hotel room in Santa Monica and start a new life. I plan to start looking at trailers immediately.
Talking to you has been a very confusing experience, especially the last two messages. I think it best if we had a little more distance, a break from each other. Now you have my money and you can escape Dakkar. I don't care about the rest. My challenges are much less serious than yours, but I am passionate about living like Jim Rockford on the beach in a trailer with mint juleps and a telephone answering machine. These are things a woman like you cannot understand because you don't know how important James Garner is to the cultural history of the United States of America. He is a model man, an icon, a symbol, a person that people my age look up to. Do you know who John Wayne is? Maybe you do. Well, James Garner is like John Wayne, except he is more noble, more gentle and not a racist jerk. He's a famous Democrat and I even forgive him for being friends with the actor James Woods, who is a Tea Party sympathizer. In sum, James Garner is like the father I never had, and the friend that I need the most right now.
You don't understand these things because you've never seen his television program The Rockford Files. You've never seen Rocky (except in the photo I sent you), and you've never seen the trailer they shared. You've never heard the program's musical theme song which is one of the best instrumental pieces of music to be produced in the 1970's. So I'm going to enjoy my long drive and I'm going to think about Jim Rockford and Jim Garner. I need Jim Rockford a lot more than I need a new wife, and that's not because I'm gay, I'm not, but because I've already been married, I've had dreams die and my heart broken before. Sometimes a man needs the companionship of another man, for mentorship, for encouragement, to learn how to be strong. Think of it this way: you have your reverend, and I have my reverend.
You do what you have to do. I will do what I have to do. We will treat this like a friendly business transaction and not be sentimental about this. I follow the Jim Rockford code: I help you because it's the right thing to do and because you are paying me. I will be friendly but I will not be your lover or your husband.
Goodbye for now. I am leaving at 7 AM Central Time to drive to California.
17. MTCN IS NOT CORRECT, SEND THE CORRECT MONEY TRANSFER DETAILS
From: sophiaa queen
Sent: Friday, June 27, 2:07 A.M.
To: CBC
MY LOVE,
I HAVE SEEN YOUR MAIL CONCERNING THE MONEY TRANSFER TO ME BY WESTERN UNION. BUT THE MTCN NUMBER IS NOT CORRECT, SEND ME THE CORRECT WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER DETAILS FOR CONFIRMATION AND RECUPERATION OF THE SENT CASH.
1. SENDER'S NAMES
2. SECRET QUESTION AND SECRET ANSWER
3. MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBERS (MTCN)
4. MOBILE NUMBER OF SENDER
5. EXACT AMOUNT SENT AND AMOUNT RECEIVABLE IN SENEGAL.
PLEASE, SCAN THE MONEY TRANSFER RECEIPT AND SEND TO ME IN YOUR NEWT EMAIL; SEND IT AS EMAIL ATTACHMENT. I AM WAITING, PLEASE SEND THE CORRECT DETAILS NOW.
I LOVE YOU, AND I AM THANKFUL TO YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR EFFORT TO HELP ME OUT OF HERE.